If I Win the Jackpot.

By the time you read this, I will (hopefully) have an adult beverage in one hand and the other hand firmly holding the little pull-down stick on a penny slot machine.

So let's talk about what happens if my penny magically reproduces into a hundred bajillion more pennies.  You know, and I can buy whatever the fuck I want.

1)  A facility.
Well, no reason to work anymore.  So I'm gonna quit, the husband is going to quit, and I'm going to convince him that we need to move to about an hour out of the city that we just left.  Because it's horse country and I can do all the tadpole cross-country courses and fox-hunt.  You know, downtown.


This house has hit my Aiken Area Dressage, Eventing and Show Jumping facebook group a couple times.  $350k, 4 bed/2 bath, 9.5 acres, and a 6-stall barn.

2)  A rig.
Because being transportation-less blows.  My barn in Augusta had a four horse that was magical and beautiful, but let's add some living quarters.  Let's couple that with a dually.  Let's learn to drive a gooseneck.  Or a semi.

Just opulent enough to be borderline pretentious.
3)  A trainer.
Anyone that would tolerate panic attacks over cross rails and have some damn good accreditations.

4)  More ponies.
I hope my game wouldn't change.  I hope that I would have a roving door of emaciated rescues who I picked up off the feedlot because someone with a better eye than me thought they had potential.  And then I rehab them and send them off to be little girls' magical first loves.

And a mule.  I want a mule.
From HorseNation.com.

And a mustang.  Straight out of the BLM corral.  With a neck tattoo.

This is #2496, a 3 y/o mare currently located in Oregon.
And more OTTBs.  Because race ponies are the best.

5)  Custom everything.
You know.  Shit that fits.

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13 comments

  1. Custom OTTBs? hehehehe. I like your lottery plan!

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  2. I would totally get a mule if I won the lottery. I like to think that I would be smart with my money and invest and save and make my money last, but I would for sure be building a big and beautiful barn and indoor in my backyard!

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  3. Sounds like a good plan! Similar to my own if I come into some money one day :)

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  4. Have you ever been around mules?

    HATE

    I like everything else though.

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  5. I like it! Especially the custom everything (for real tho).

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  6. Sounds like a good plan! And I am completely impressed that you can get that much house and land for $350k

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  7. Your plan rocks! Love all of it. (maybe throw in a few burros too?!)

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  8. love this haha. get alllll the things!!!!! and mules are awesome :)

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  9. Why does Shit that Fits have to be so expensive?! Wah!

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  10. So actually I have this mule for you....he even sometimes get mistaken for an OTTB if you want to flip flop back and forth.

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    1. Oh Bobby. You should call him your mule-cross and see if people catch it...

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  11. That property looks awesome!!! That would top my list too.

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Thanks!